Feeling Hopeful!

I am feeling very hopeful today... Hopeful that Trevor's deployment will go by quickly and that I will survive, but not only survive, but thrive during the deployment! This morning was our last Sunday morning at church together for the next 28 weeks...wow. 28 Sundays. We went to the early service and as soon as the worship music began,  tears followed. I was crying and I couldn't even tell Trevor why. I felt overwhelmed by the week that was coming but at the same time, so thankful to be standing among other believers and cry. After the service we went to the Heroes at Home class that our church offers as a community group for spouses during deployment. It was awesome. Trevor wanted to come the week before he left so everyone could meet him and he would be able to see the group I was joining. It was so encouraging as about 20 women sat around and shard their fears, hurts, and also their joy and what God has been teaching them through this deployment. I am feeling hopeful because God has provided us with an incredibly supportive community for me to live life with while Trevor is gone. It brings me to tears just thinking about it. 

I'm sure most of you have been seeing my posts on FB about these random surprise gifts that keep showing up at our door...well we are positive that it is ladies and/or couples in our small group leaving these sweet gifts of encouragement, we just aren't sure who is who ;) Since last Friday, we have come home to something encouraging on our door step each night and I wanted to post pics of them! Of course we've been taking pics of them each day...even Trev has ;) 

Day #1- We came home and found a Fall/Game Day basket on our door full of fun Fall stuff for me and USC stuff for Trev! It even had a gift card to Plucker's...one of our fav's! 

Day #2- This was a gift card for the Harker Heights Theatre and we used it on Friday night to see Moneyball! Fun date night for sure!

Day #3- I thought for sure I knew this was Quinn because I had just told her how much I LOVE the idea of using pumpkins as a flower pot but she swears it wasn't her! Adorable :) 

Day #4- This day there were TWO separate things on our porch! The first one was a cute basket with the book "God Strong", yummy baked goods, and a sweet card! The 2nd thing was this Chipotle gift card that a delivery man actually found outside! Glad he didn't decide to keep it ;) 

Day #5- This is def one of the most creative ideas! Someone left us two pumpkins on our porch with a basket full of carving supplies! We are doing this for a date night tonight, I can't wait!

Day #6- How sweet! Someone left us pretty fall colored flowers and a box of pumpkin bread to bake! Yummy :)

Day #7- This was a cute little basket with 2 notebooks in it (one for each of us) that said they are small enough for T to carry one in his uniform and for me in my purse and when we think of something we want to tell each other we can jot it down for the next time we talk! It also had a book of questions :)

Day #8- What an adorable country style basket! This was a fall basket with homemade pumpkin break in the towels and the "Courage" willow tree angel to add to my front table full of military stuff & willow tree angels :) This pumpkin bread was delicious...I had a slice this morning, too bad when we got home from church, Sophie had eaten 1/2 of it...literally! So whoever made this, Soph loved it too ;) Adorable fall dish towels to use again too!

Day #9- This is a patriotic picnic basket that I loveeeeeee! It has two other smaller baskets inside too! It also had a blanket, Mason jars, and some tea light candles! I think hubs and I are gonna have a dessert picnic outside in the back yard with candles one night! Love it :) 

I really hope I didn't miss anything because these gifts all meant so much to Trevor and I! I hung a bunch of the cards on our bathroom mirror and they have been so encouraging to look at and read. Seriously, we would never have imagined our friends doing something so incredibly thoughtful. Everyone has gone out of their way to make sure our last week together is full of sweet dates and memory making moments! We know that we def do not deserve any of this... or even such amazing and encouraging friends. It's amazing to see what servant hearts our friends have! We love you all :) 

Their World

As most of you know, I have had personal experience with hospice as a daughter when my mom was put on in home hospice in her final days. What some of you may not know, is that I started working with hospice at the VA about 5 months ago. I was working in my full time position in the home health department and asked my supervisor if there were any other openings in the hospital that I could help cover while we were short staffed because I wanted to get more clinical experience with our veterans. When she told me that there was an opening for an inpatient hospice social worker, I immediately was scared to death but felt like God was nudging me to take the position. To make a long story short, I have been covering half of the 22-bed inpatient hospice unit at the VA hospital in Temple in addition to my full time position. I can say without a doubt, I have fallen in love with hospice. I love my veterans, my families, and the entire hospice team. 


The interesting thing is that most of my coworkers on the hospice unit only know me as the "hospice social worker Allison" and do not know that I once sat on the other side as a daughter who had a mom who was dying.  My first day on the unit I lost a veteran and immediately started wondering if I truly could handle what I had just signed up to do... God continued to assure me that hospice is where He wanted me at this time. 


Today was a wake up call for me as a believer and as a social worker. I was told 15 minutes before I got off work that one of my veterans just passed away. I was told this by a nurse in passing and this man was very young and was raising several young children. I can't go into any details about this due to patient confidentiality, but this afternoon hit very close to home. The family did not request to see me so I decided to head home... already thinking about what I needed to get at the store to make the dessert I had planned for tonight.   As I was driving home I got to spend a few minutes chatting with a friend and had a sweet conversation about a blessing that they are about to experience as they bring their baby girl into the world. After I got off the phone, I couldn't get my hospice family out of my mind and began remembering back to the days before my mom died... She was my world. I did have a relationship with the Lord and He was above all, my rock, but my mama was my world here on Earth. She was everything to me. When she went to be with the Lord, my world shook. It even shattered for a while. As I was driving I realized that even though I was trying to "leave work at work," this family's world just shattered. I have been able to grieve over my mama's death over the past 3 years and God has been gracious to show me his love over and over again, He has even shown me glory that has come from the testimony of her life. 


I will never feel the same with my veterans as I did with my mom, and I shouldn't. She was my mama. Today made me realize that God calls us to and entrusts us with very important jobs. Each of my hospice families see their loved one as "their world" and expect that they will receive the best love and care possible. As much as I can't take my work home with me, I never want to lose sight of what it felt like to be a daughter. A daughter who was terrified of what life would be like without her mom at 21 years old. I never want to be a social worker who forgets what it felt like to be told "There are no other treatments, we would like to keep her comfortable and pain free." 


I remember those 10 days on hospice and feeling as if my world was crumbing. I thank God for this time I've been given to walk along side families who are facing the reality of losing what many of them consider their world. 

Meeting Hudson Ray!

Tonight was such a special night for our family as Tanner and Chels welcomed their first son, Hudson Ray, into the world! We drove down after work in anticipation of meeting him and thought that we would get there about 1-2 hours after the family had spent some time getting to meet Hudson, but Chels still wasn't out of surgery when we got to North Austin Medical Center. We only waited for about 30 minutes when we got a text that said we could come in...Now when I say we, I literally mean there were about 16 of us in the waiting room! Parents, grandparents, 5 siblings, and Trevor and I :) What an exciting moment!

Chels looked absolutely fabulous and Hudson was perfect! He was born at 3:16pm and was 7lbs 1 oz and 19 inches long, a big boy considering he wasn't supposed to make his debut for another 2 weeks ;) Tanner is such a proud daddy!

We spent a couple of hours passing Hudson around and "fighting" for time with him! Actually, no one fought, everyone was very patient considering there were about 16 people wanting to hold him! Hudson took it like a champ, even with flashing lights like a paparazzi!

I loved seeing her holding her precious new baby, what an incredible feeling! She was completely full of JOY and thankfulness to the Lord! Trevor and I had to leave after a couple of hours to head back home and it was time to say bye everyone. Unfortunately, we weren't just saying bye for the night, but Trevor was saying bye for the next 7 months. We were so thankful that he got to meet Hudson on the day he was born, since he will be 7 months old when he gets back from Afghanistan. I knew watching him say goodbye to everyone was going to be hard, but I never imagined it would be this hard. I walked around hugging people after he did and started to get teary eyed when Donna hugged me and reminded me that I'm always welcome at their home....Then I looked at Chels and I knew it was over. I walked over and we both immediately started crying, it was as if we read each others minds. Not only was I watching her say goodbye to my husband for 7 months but she looked at me and said "When will I get to see you?" I had to tell her about 2 weeks... and that is what broke my heart.

Chels and I have been a part of every significant event in each other's lives for the past 10 years... high school grad, college, engagements, college grad, losing my mama, her wedding, my wedding, and now her first child being born. I think what we both realized in that moment that we started crying is that God has put two very significant events in our lives at the same time, which He has never done before. It absolutely broke my heart to know that I won't see Hudson or be a part of the next two weeks of his life and I know that she felt the same heart break knowing that she won't be with me when I have to say goodbye to my husband for 7 months. God had created two very significant events in our lives at the same time and I think we both realized in that moment that we would be apart for the first time. I had to leave the room very quickly because I knew I was going to lose it...Which I did on the way home with hubby. I'm a true believer that it is good to let out a good cry every once in a while and it felt good. 

This blog is for my best friend, who is now a beautiful mama! God has blessed you and Tanner in so many ways already by providing you a beautiful and healthy baby boy, I can't wait to see what He has for the future! I'm so sorry I won't be there for more of Hudson's first two weeks in this world, and I know that you would give anything to be there when I say goodbye to Trevor. God is faithful and good. Love you Chels!