Dayna told me that Shelli, a family friend, was going to share Gracen's story and she asked me to email Shelli a few things about what it was like to walk thru the last 9 months with Ryan and Dayna. So I chatted with Em and emailed her what was on my heart, thinking she was going to throw a few of my thoughts into Gracen's story here and there. Shelli got up and said that she'd like to read the letter that I wrote. My heart was pounding because I was thinking "letter? This wasn't a letter?" and was def not something I wrote prepared for an audience to read, but at that point I just prayed that my words were adequate and accurately reflected Ryan and Dayna's life.
Here's what she read...
It has been such a humbling and amazing experience to walk through the last 9 months with Ryan and Dayna. They have inspired and tought our small group of friends so much from obedience to the Lord, faithfulness to prayer, what it means to be joyful during a tragedy, and constantly remaining thankful for what God has entrusted them with. Dayna just kept saying over and over that God has "entrusted" them with much, she would recite that to herself over the 9 months... just an incredible testimony that God is good and that He does entrust those he loves with MUCH.
Dayna would talk about the hopes they had for Gracen and just her sweet personality that she hoped for was incredible. It didn't matter if she was going to live for minutes, hours, or a lifetime...it never had an effect on their love for her! I also loved that Dayna wanted Gracen to experience as much as she could while in the womb, knowing that her time on earth would most likely be short. We were picking dates for my husband and I to take a trip to Sea World last month and Dayna quickly said "We need to go soon because I want Gracen to see Sea World" and she meant it...we had a great time and talked about Gracen's first time on a water ride, her first time of Shamu kissing her in mama's belly, etc. Such a sweet day! Dayna never wanted people to "not talk about Gracen" or not know what to say about her...but instead she wanted Gracen to be a part of everything we did and talked about!
They also fully relied on the Lord and His grace after every medical appointment they went to. They never questioned whether God was good, but instead believed that He is sovereign. They also knew that this was not something of the enemy, but instead, something that the Lord allowed to happen because He has a bigger plan for Gracen's life and even for her testimony to be shared by her mommy and daddy and family/friends. They still trusted that God is good. God was good when they found out they were expecting, He was good when they found out her disorder, and He was still good the day she was born.
Another sweet memory was pretty soon after they found out that they were expecting their first baby, they decided not to find out the gender. One day Dayna and a few of us girls were laying by the pool chatting about girl and boy names and one of the most important things to her was the name meanings! Even more than how they sounded with Saltzgaber (which was complicated at times, HaHa!), she wanted to make sure that his/her name gave glory to the Lord and to what they had hoped and prayed for when they found out they were expecting!
I know that so many people have learned so much while walking through the last 9 months with Ryan and Dayna, myself included. They are truly an example of what it looks like to live a Christ-centered life and trust in the Lord no matter what He has them and how much His plans differ from theirs.
They also fully relied on the Lord and His grace after every medical appointment they went to. They never questioned whether God was good, but instead believed that He is sovereign. They also knew that this was not something of the enemy, but instead, something that the Lord allowed to happen because He has a bigger plan for Gracen's life and even for her testimony to be shared by her mommy and daddy and family/friends. They still trusted that God is good. God was good when they found out they were expecting, He was good when they found out her disorder, and He was still good the day she was born.
Another sweet memory was pretty soon after they found out that they were expecting their first baby, they decided not to find out the gender. One day Dayna and a few of us girls were laying by the pool chatting about girl and boy names and one of the most important things to her was the name meanings! Even more than how they sounded with Saltzgaber (which was complicated at times, HaHa!), she wanted to make sure that his/her name gave glory to the Lord and to what they had hoped and prayed for when they found out they were expecting!
I know that so many people have learned so much while walking through the last 9 months with Ryan and Dayna, myself included. They are truly an example of what it looks like to live a Christ-centered life and trust in the Lord no matter what He has them and how much His plans differ from theirs.
As I sat in the pew at our church and listened to Dayna read a letter that they wrote to Gracen and the whole church sing worship songs to our King, I literally wept. I was sitting between Dale and Jesse with Quinn and Tori on each side of them and I missed my husband so much in that moment. I haven't felt that feeling of "alone in a crowd" in so long, and the feeling overwhelmed me. I wanted so badly for Trevor to be sitting next to me holding me and to feel safe and comforted in his embrace. As soon as I felt this flood of loneliness, I started praying. The most beautiful thing happened...within seconds, I felt as if I could feel the Lord's embrace physically holding onto me. It felt as if Trevor was sitting behind me holding me, but I obviously knew it was not my husband. What an incredible feeling. Somedays I wonder how in the world I am going to "survive" the next 7 months without my husband, but I know that God has a big plan for our time apart and I'm thankful that He is slowly showing us both that. I had become a very independent woman in graduate school and had learned to live on my own (with my roomie of course!) and I am starting to realize how much I have learned to depend on my husband. God is reminding me day by day that it is def good to depend on Trevor and it is how he designed marriage, but I have to rely first on Him.
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