Day #3... Better than Day #1 & #2 :)

Wow, I can't believe it's been 3 days. Part of me feels like it's been much longer because they have been exhausting days, then part of me feels as if he left yesterday. Yesterday I felt like an emotional train wreck...Literally, I cried more times than I can count. My day started off praying for our friends Ryan and Dayna as they went into deliver their precious baby girl, Gracen Faith, who was not expected to live very long with us on Earth. As I was getting updates from the hospital and sending them to family/friends, I was also sitting in a treatment team meeting for 3 of my hospice residents at work. All three of my treatment team meetings were on my residents who were not expected to live very much longer and, therefore, we had very emotional family members. I remember I was sitting with a wife as she prepared for her husband of 42 years to pass away and I got a text on my phone in my lap...It said that Gracen Faith Saltzgaber had just gone to be with the Lord. I felt so many emotions during that moment that I can't even imagine what my face looked like. I probably looked like a very concerned social worker who was crying with her resident, but really, it was grief for this sweet baby girl who was just born an hour before and met her mommy and daddy for the first time. Minutes after I got that text, Trevor started calling and I excused myself from the meeting and talked to him for about 3 minutes since he would be traveling to another base in the middle east later that day. I was completely overwhelmed and he could hear it in my voice. Why did this keep happening? I was trying to avoid overwhelming him, but he kept calling at the exact time of my meltdowns...Clearly God was putting specific times on his mind to call me, those times that I really just needed to hear my husbands voice. 

After I got off the phone with Trevor and finished my treatment team meeting with my hospice families, I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I hadn't been able to just cry over the news of sweet Gracen, I hadn't been able to let the tears out for my hospice families who were in so much pain, and I just wanted to sob a cry of relief after hearing from my husband. I needed to cry. I ran back to my office as quickly as I could and just fell onto my chair and started sobbing. My coworker has been so supportive and sweet to me this week and just hugged me as a cried. I think she knew that I just needed a good cry. 

Last night I was able to Skype with Trevor and actually see his face which gave me so much peace of mind and was able to chat with him a bit throughout the day today when he found a wifi connection. I must say...today was a MUCH better day. I think I am still feeling pretty drained but today I felt as if there was peace all around me...things just felt very calm. I was able to see Dayna at the hospital last night which gave me a lot of comfort in knowing that while she is grieving, she is still joyful and thankful for the gift that God gave her. After work I went with a friend to a girls night which was def what I needed...just to get big hugs from all my girls and just spent the evening chatting with them and sharing stories. 

Tomorrow I am going to focus on helping plan Gracen Faith's sweet memorial service with Quinn and have some good girl time ALL day tomorrow...I can't wait! I'm starting the day having coffee with Tori and Carol, lunch with my Em B who is driving all the way from Austin to Salado to the tea room, going to meet Jax and bring Jayme dinner, and then a girls night...dinner and a movie! Sounds like a GREAT first Saturday for the first weekend of hubby being gone. Thankful for all of these girls in my life!

Every time someone asked me today how I was doing, I responded by saying... "Day 3 has been better than day 1 and 2" so I suspect that day 4 will be even better than 3 :) Thanks for reading!