Living in the moment

What does it look like to truly live in the moment in our society? I've been asking myself this a lot lately & I've just been feeling super overwhelmed and I can't articulate why. Last night Trevor and I were laying in bed and I was trying to explain why I was feeling overwhelmed and I couldn't. After talking to my honey for a couple hours, I think we figured it out... I feel like I'm constantly living in information overload and it's absolutely because of how connected I am to the world (via the internet!) Hear me say this...I LOVE my iPhone. I love the fact that I can jump on and look something up that I need, I love that when we are in the car I can pull up maps, places to stop and eat, etc. I love that I have an app that keeps track of breastfeeding/pumping info. I love that I have an app that is a sound machine and it helps put my boy to sleep no matter where we are. I absolutely love it. I love that I can post millions of pics of Landon so our friends/family that are far away can see him. But I also hate it. I hate that I feel like it's sucking the life out of me. I hate that I feel like I need to have it next to me all the time when I'm in the house. It's like an extension of our bodies... like an arm, leg, etc. Ridiculous!! How did we get to this place as a culture?? I hate that we make a Facebook event for a girls night & then when we actual go out for that girls night, half (or all) of the table has their phones out and are on Facebook browsing instead of actually spending time together. I feel like we are losing the ability to live in the moment with one another.

I've been feeling this tug for several months since Landon was just a few months old and I feel it even more strongly now. I want to be a wife who is present and a mom who is present and a friend who is present. I don't want to constantly be looking at my phone when I could be spending time with my family...but even a step further, I don't want my mind to be so overloaded by what I've read online all day, that I can't enjoy the moments together. The last few months I have made an effort to not have my phone next to me throughout the day, but instead, to put it on the charger for a couple hours at a time so I'm not tempted to "peek" at it every so often, when I should be playing or loving on my boy. On Friday last week, I intentionally decided not to respond to anything online the first few hours after waking up (3-4 whole hours...pathetic huh?) and I noticed a huge difference in my day! I turned on music, played all morning, went to an appt, had lunch made for Trevor when he came home, and just felt FREE. 

I can tell you that since trying to put my phone away for a few hours at a time, there HAS been a cost... Grandma & Gigi don't get as many pics of bug, I miss calls and texts from my friends/family from home, and I may not be immediately available anymore. It used to break my heart to think of grandparents not getting daily pics of Landon or spending the day texting with my best friends from home... but it doesn't anymore because my husband and my son are As a mama, I need to be focused on the moments that are right in front of me while I'm home with bug during the day and I know that our family/friends understand that. It's so easy for us stay at home mamas to get sucked into chatting all day while our husbands are at work & then being "committed" to putting our phones away at night to spend time with our family. That is AWESOME, but it's not enough...we need to give our children that same attention. If I am choosing to stay home with Landon, I am responsible for meeting all of his needs, loving on him, and being intentional about TEACHING him throughout the day. I can't be focused in doing that when I am constantly checking in one stuff online or even thinking about something I read earlier. This weekend I decided to delete the Facebook messenger app because it's just one more way for me to communicate with the world that's not necessary. I already can call and text...I don't need another way! It's so easy for ME to spend the day chatting with other mamas who are also home doing the same things Landon and I are, but that means that I'm not only taking time away from being focused on my child, but I'm also taking their focus away from their children! 

So, does that mean I'm deleting my Facebook? No. Because I do use Facebook for a lot of good things... staying connected with our community around us here and our friends/family from home. I simply am going to be much more aware of my time, how I'm spending it, and doing things (like deleting FB messaging on my phone) to live more in the present that are eternally focused. I want to get back to more one on one time with friends here too, things that are not big planned events. Having meaningful conversations about life, faith, marriage, parenting, etc over a cup of coffee or on a walk with the kiddos on a pretty day. 

Mama friends, I write this because this is something that I personally struggle with... will you come alongside me & take the challenge WITH me? <3